Effort or “eff it”? Five Things We Can All Do Better As Mums
1. Self care
This term is 2018’s equivalent of when we all started referring to changes in our lives as “a journey”. Overused but rarely overdone, self care can be simple and free if you know what feeds your soul. Being able to do it regularly is often the biggest battle - either because we can’t justify spending money on ourselves or because we can’t find the time between doing all the things we’ve set ourselves up to do.
If you can take regular time - and/or money - to do something you need or love (I want to be idealistic and say pooping alone or a shower doesn’t count but I only have one child), do it. You are actually worthy of your own time.
2. Not reading ridiculous Google articles
I said it, doesn’t mean I’m going to do it.
Typing a series of non-sequiturs into a search engine in the hopes it will tell you something is a practice best left to people trying to find out what the latest development is between Khloe and Jordyn. I believe unequivocally in “mother’s instinct” and if I think something is up, you bet your butt I’m going to book my child in to see a doctor or even head to the ED.
What I’m also going to do, probably while in the waiting room or in the middle of the night is look up what I suspect is wrong and look for ways to diagnose my way out of it. Listen to your gut and don’t ignore your intuition.
3. Quit things that no longer serve you
I don’t mean your job (unless you want to). I mean Marie Kondo your life and ditch what no longer brings you joy. This could include relationships which aren’t positive any more, practices or habits that are harming you, or simply owning too much shit like the lady says.
I know it sounds a lot like I’m just preaching some crap I read in a horoscope (I’m into that!) but honestly - the older I get the less time I have to waste making myself miserable. I want my child to see how treating yourself with respect is the norm.
4. Ask for help
I have a couple of friends whose babies are the same age as mine and we have gotten really good at saying “hey, gal pals, I’m not OK”. It’s been one of the greatest ways I’ve improved my life, finding and trusting special people with an honest answer to “how are you?”
Over time I realised being able to open that conversation for someone who needs to talk is important and I do it regularly on Instagram. If you are not OK, whether it’s #mumlife, the patriarchy or just generally being SO OVERWHELMED please, reach out. I’ll be in your mum gang if you’re desperate! *winks*
... and not in a catcalling “you look so much prettier when you smile” kind of way. When you smile it releases endorphins - did you know that?
They say “fake it ‘til you make it” and in this case I am here for it!
Other ways to release endorphins include sex, exercise, eat chocolate or do something else that brings you pleasure like getting a massage.
All of these things require a certain level of commitment from yourself and sometimes your support network. If you don’t think that you can do even one of these, it might be time to talk to friends or family about how you’re feeling.
Importantly, if you feel like you might not be OK for any reason, you can speak to your GP or head to panda.org.au
and find someone to talk to.
Written by Mumma April Watson, mother to 22-month old Miles from Canberra, Australia. She is a part of the baby luno Mum Diaries team and will be blogging regularly as she continues on her motherhood journey and we can't wait to follow.
April is still loving her Cadenshae tights – they’re a wardrobe staple for anyone wanting support and style. Check out all our maternity wear here.