The Emotions of a Newborn Mother
Some days I have wondered if I could actually do this Mum thing. All other parents seem to make it look so easy but now I realise they must be superhuman.
Some days I come to terms that all active parents at some stage will question their patience, strength and stamina to bring up their tiny human.
Some days I wonder if I would ever sleep, ever eat or ever shower again.
Some days I have the chance to do all of the above but I choose to spend the day staring and cuddling my precious miracle.
Some days I feel myself wondering if I would ever be a good enough mother and role model to something who relies so heavily on me.
Some days I make a fool of myself doing crazy faces, making weird sounds just to make my baby give me one little grin. I realise that all I want is for Mila to stay true to herself.
Some days I mutter under my breathe (or sometimes very loudly) “oh for goodness sake, just go the f*** to sleep”.
Some days she sleeps and sleeps and sleeps and all I want is for her to be awake and peering at her world around her.
Some days I don’t take the time to put my phone down and just be in the moment with my baby. Too busy looking at the ‘perfect’ social media world to take in how lucky I am.
Some days I go for a walk in the bush, breathe in the fresh winter air and count my lucky stars as I feel Mila cuddled in the wrap so tiny and warm against me.
Some days I try to put the dummy in Milas mouth in the dark and wonder why shes still crying only to realise that I have been trying to put the dummy into her eye.
Some days I wish I bought everything in mustard yellow so I didn’t have to worry about soaking the third outfit of that day to avoid it being stained from another poonami.
Some days I cry and feel the loneliest I have ever felt.
Some days joy overwhelms me as I take in everything my little blessing has to offer.
Some days I get washing done, the vacuuming complete, the dog walked, dinner prepped and the house in a liveable condition
Some days I spend all day trying to settle my baby questioning why she won’t sleep, what am I doing wrong?!? I count down the seconds until my husband is home to help me.
And some day I hope to do it all again....
Watch or see "some days" on my instagram @heymama_unfiltered
Mumma-of-one Kerryn Hammington, mother to little Mila from Wellington, New Zealand is one of our lovely bloggers a part of the baby luno Mum Diaries. Kerryn will be blogging regularly as she embarks on her motherhood journey and we can't wait to follow.
See her other post here